Lesbians and Gay Men as Foster Parents by Wendell Ricketts ISBN 0-939561-09-3 Available from the National Center for Lesbian Rights 870 Market Street, Suite 570 San Francisco, CA 94102 Phone: 415-392-6257 and from Amazon.Com and other booksellers View the Table of Contents Read excerpts from the book

From CHAPTER ONE
Why Deal With This Issue?                                                                                        [Back to Top]

All across the country, tens of thousands of lesbians and gay men are already providing homes for many of America's foster children. Some of these men and women are not known as gay or lesbian to the agencies that have placed children with thembut many others are known openly. In some cases, agencies recognize that foster-parent recruitment chronically falls far below the need for foster homes, and staff and social workers look the other way as a "probably" gay or lesbian home is licensed. Consider, for example, this frank comment from the director of a foster home program in Washington, D.C.:

We've always had pairs of women providing foster care. In some instances, they have
not been related. And of course, that always raises questions in some people's minds. But
as far as we were concerned, they were two friends who lived together and wanted to do
this together. I would assume that some of the people who apply to be foster parents
might be gay. But if they are, we don't know about it.

Almost immediately, the Babets and Jean case erupted into heated debate, and the Massachusetts Department of Social Services was embroiled in controversy. Governor Michael Dukakis was pressured to take a stand on lesbian and gay foster parenting during an election year and, shortly after the children were removed, the DSS promulgated new regulations that effectively prohibited all future foster placements with lesbians or gay men.

In the aftermath, the efforts of the DSS to deal with the placement, its "exposure," and the resulting controversy were widely evaluated and criticized in the media, within agencies, in the political arena, and in private. Ultimately, the Babets and Jean case resulted in a lawsuit against Governor Dukakis and the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. That litigation was finally settled, and the ban reversed, in April, 1990. (The Babets and Jean case is described in detail in Chapter Five.)

Because it could be repeated anywhere in the country, the Massachusetts experience is instructive. With the shortage of good foster homes and the growing willingness of gay men and lesbians to be open about their lives, children's service agencies must address the issue of placing children with homosexuals, must educate their personnel regarding questions and concerns presented by lesbian and gay parenting, and must set policies they are willing and able to defend. Without such resolutions, media controversies and public battles can demoralize an agency's staff and waste time and resources that are better spent in the service of children.

From CHAPTER TWO
Examining Anti-Homosexual Attitudes
and the Heterosexual Bias                                                                                            [Back to Top]

What would life be like if the only available view of heterosexuals was one distorted by the biases of homosexual society and its media? What images of heterosexuality would be offered in magazines and newspapers, on television shows and in movies? Consider these news stories taken from actual newspaper and magazine reports--and edited to promote an anti-heterosexual agenda.

• In early 1989, a jealous heterosexual winery worker in Northern California went on a rampage, murdering his wife and two of his own children, as well as a male co-worker whom he accused of having had an affair with his wife.
• During 1987, American security was seriously compromised as heterosexual Marine guards at the U.S. Embassy in Moscow involved themselves in sexual liaisons with Soviet female prostitutes most of whom had been sent to the Embassy specifically to engage in espionage.
• In 1988, a heterosexual woman gave birth to a baby girl in the bathroom of a jetliner, then wrapped the newborn in garbage, stuffed her beneath the lavatory sink, and abandoned her! The woman had concealed the pregnancy from her heterosexual husband, who had ordered her not to have any more children.

• In a study of the sexual behavior of 106,000 women, a respected researcher noted that 54 percent of married heterosexual women reported one or more sexual experiences with partners other than their husbands since marrying. In another study of 7,239 men, nearly three-fourths of the heterosexual men who had been married two years or more had been unfaithful while married.

• A study of members of a heterosexual "swinger's club" showed that a significant proportion were "seriously emotionally disturbed, may be substance abusers, or may have serious sexual problems."

• A recent report concluded that college fraternities may be a training ground for heterosexual rapists! Fraternities' emphases on "militant heterosexuality," heavy drinking, violence, hyper-masculinity, and dominance over women actually encourage members to force women to have sex with them. A direct consequence, the study concluded, is the dramatic increase in acquaintance rape on American campuses.

Dear Friend:

You have seen ample evidence of the violence, emotional instability, and
perversion that typify the lives of heterosexuals. The rapid spread of sexually
transmitted diseases among heterosexuals (including herpes, for which there
is no known cure!), as well as the staggering number of elective abortions
performed annually in the U.S. demonstrate that heterosexuals are not capable
of conducting their sexual affairs with even a modicum of responsibility.

We know, furthermore, that the crimes of rape, incest, child molestation, and
spouse battering are on the rise and that they are committed by heterosexuals
in numbers vastly disproportionate to their presence in the population!

In addition, the astonishing incidence of sexual harassment and sex discrimination
in the workplace is compelling evidence that the presence of heterosexuals on the job contributes to poor morale, and has a severely negative impact on job performance....¹

¹ This fabricated letter is modeled on fundraising appeals and "emergency advisories" sent regularly by Jerry Falwell, the Religious Roundtable, some members of the U. S. Congress, and others with similar agendas. See Conway, F. & Siegleman, J. (1982). Holy terror: The fundamentalist war on America's freedoms in religion, politics, and our private lives. New York: Doubleday and Company.

TABLE OF CONTENTS                                                                                [Back to Top]

• CHAPTER ONE: Why Deal With This Issue?
Foster Parent Recruitment And The Changing Family
Lesbian and Gay Foster Parents--An Untapped Resource?
Must There Be A Separate Policy for Lesbians and Gay Men?
Personal Values vs. Public Stands
• CHAPTER TWO: Examining Anti-Homosexual Attitudes and the Heterosexual Bias
An Overview of the Lesbian and Gay Rights Movement
Homophobia and the Heterosexual Bias
Imagining the Shoe on the Other Foot: A Jaundiced View of the Heterosexual "Lifestyle"
Lisa Steinberg and Nathan Moncrieff
New York and Oakland Respond
Homophobia in the Wider View
• CHAPTER THREE: Prejudice Against Gay Men and Lesbians--The Influence of Religion
     Despite the claims of some religious fundamentalists, significant questions remain today regarding the meaning and historical context of many scriptural passages
     Inasmuch as scripture has historically been used to justify and condone various forms of oppression, we should be cautious of exclusively religious rationales for antihomosexual prejudice
     Regardless of debates over the significance and meaning of JudeoChristian theology and antihomosexual traditions, religious considerations are meant to play a limited role in the framing of our country's laws
• CHAPTER FOUR: Parenting by Lesbians and Gay Men--Typical Concerns and a Review of the Literature

 

 

     Review of the Literature
     Homosexual and heterosexual parents do not differ in quality of parenting.
     Children raised in lesbian and gay households do not differ from children raised in heterosexual households in overall mental health, adjustment, or gender identity.
     Lesbian and gay parents are acutely concerned that their children may suffer because their family is different and go to considerable lengths to accommodate and respond to children's needs.
             Alicia
             Dave
     Child Molestation
     Stigma
     The Child Welfare Worker's Professional Responsibilities

• CHAPTER FIVE: The Boston Foster Care Case
The Litigation
The Settlement
• CHAPTER SIX: The Impact of Law The Legal Status of Lesbian and Gay Foster Parents
Legal Issues
"Per Se" Presumptions that Lesbians and Gay Men are Unfit to Serve as Parents
Constitutional Issues
            A. Due Process
            B. Equal Protection
AntiSodomy Laws
The New Hampshire Case
• CHAPTER SEVEN: Putting the Issues in Context--Final Considerations and Additional Resources
Is Sexual Orientation Irrelevant?
Gay and Lesbian Youth in Foster Care
A Gay Teenager in Foster Care: Tim
A List of Resources
• APPENDICES
APPENDIX A: Alternative Religious Approaches to Homosexuality: A Bibliography
APPENDIX B: Bibliography of Materials Related to Lesbian and Gay Parenting
APPENDIX C: Professional Policy Statements
Statement of the National Association of Social Workers
Statement of the American Psychiatric Association
Statement of the American Psychological Association

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